What did we do before them?

There is absolutely no doubt that cellphones have changed our lives. I like to think that I hate mine: it’s a gross invasion of my privacy and in many regards a constant worry. Where is it? Have I got enough airtime? Is it charged?

Often I turn it onto silent and ignore it just for a little peace, but I must admit that I almost never leave home without it. As much as I want to detest it, it is an amazing comfort to know that if I’m ever in any trouble (particularly regarding driving) help is but a call away.

The interesting thing though is that these devises are becoming much more than just communication tools. I use mine as an alarm clock, a birthday calendar, a calculator, a camera (although an actual camera would take better pictures) and often as a torch. My old phone worked as a radio too, but I must admit that I seldom used that function.

Now cellphones are also becoming televisions. Perhaps soon they’ll replace so many things we carry with us, like keys, cash, credit cards and even identity documents… The question was posed at college today though: How can a brand capitalise on this amazing technology to offer something that is really awesome and, perhaps even entertaining, without being horribly annoying? It seems obvious that there should be so much that one can do, but it gets tricky. People don’t want spam on their cellphones…

Summertime

I woke up this morning and felt really positive. I’ve found in the last few years that my life tends to work in weird cycles. The beginning half of a year is always a bit slow and then things tend to digress until winter. This time of year tends to be something of a low point for me. Then without warning as the weather improves after July, so to do things generally.

I’ve been told before that this can be linked to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), and I have to admit that research I’ve done on the topic definitely points in that direction. I can’t help but feel, however, that it’s not just the way that I perceive things that’s different in the beginning of the year. It seems that crappy things just tend to happen then. Perhaps it’s linked to my zodiac…

Regardless, winter solstice was a month ago today so we should be on a steady climb to summer. Yay! Even though it’s a lousy day in Cape Town weather-wise, I feel summer days are just around the corner.

Too Mutz!

The 2005 Idols competition became a religion amongst a certain Grahamstown set, with regular Sunday night gathering at number 3 Worcester Mews where we ritualistically gathered to watch the performances. Esteemed music critics we really weren’t. I’m often quoted as saying that I’m so tone deaf, it’s a wonder I’m not colour blind too. Regardless, we each had a favourite.

As the weeks rolled on and the tensions mounted we watched as the number of contestants slowly diminished until (not without controversy) Karin Kortje emerged as the winner. (There are those who’ll rebuke me for use of the term idol, so I’ll stick to winner.) Kortje, mother of one, hailed from the sleepy town of Grabouw, near Cape Town, where she worked on an Apple farm. On the weekends she sang with her Band, Karin and the Elgineers. Capetonians grew to love their champ in the weeks following the competition and Karin has been making appearances to jiving audiences ever since.

During the competition Karin sang a little number where the chorus went “never too much, never too much, never too much…” Given her characteristically Capetonian accent the chorus rand out over the televisions speakers as “never too mutz, never too mutz, never too mutz…” only to be met by squeal of excited laughter from said gathered crew of Idols fans in Grahamstown. It seems that recently, however, the fairytale story of apple-packer come songstress had taken a turn for the worst. A dire situation that can only really be described as “too mutz”.

Kortjie’s boyfriend, Cheslyn Williams, has been arrested for the murder of four-star Durbanville guesthouse owner Renate Kellerman. Apparently Williams, Kortjie and her manager were staying at said guesthouse when after returning from a day out Karin discovered Kellerman’s dead body. Kellerman’s cellphone and other items were later found in the possession of Williams leading to his arrest. Williams case has been postponed so that more evidence can be gathered and his next court appearance is scheduled for July 24th. Until then he will remain in the Goodwood prison.

Kortjie has apparently been undergoing counselling to cope with the trauma. Too mutz…

An idea

Currently gracing stages in theatre districts around the world are two shows based on similar principles. ‘Mamma Mia’ and ‘We Will Rock You’ are two musical stage productions telling two different stories constructed around songs made famous by ABBA and Queen respectively.
I must admit that I am yet to watch either show, despite positive reports and the fact that both are currently being staged right here in Cape Town. They do however rank highly on my list of ‘things to do’.
The reason however that I’m blogging about this particular form of theatre is because I have an idea. I feel it’s a very good idea; one of those ideas that is such a natural extension of reality that is sometimes seems hard to even claim it as an idea that exists as an entity unto itself. The idea: a similar musical production based on the music of the eighties Swedish pop legends Marie Fredriksson and Per Gessle, more affectionately known to us as Roxette.
Can you imagine how great it’d be! The story would naturally have to be about young love and heartbreak, the fashions strictly 80’s and the choreography largely interpretive…

Picture it:
The curtain rises; two right spotlights shine onto the crowd off of the dark stage… The music slowly builds volume as the intense spots dim and the backlights brighten creating the effect of a car driving closer towards us. The car ‘stops’, but the music keeps playing as a stunningly attractive young man steps out of the drivers door. He’s just less than six feet tall, medium build, blue eyes, slightly curly hair short. The resemblance to Jude Law is uncanny, but you all recognise him as (self clamed) Mr Rhodes 2005. He gets out and starts singing a narrative…


“I'll tell you what I've done
I'll tell you what I do
been driving all nite
just to get close to you
baby babe - I'm moving so fast
you'd better come on

The moon is alright
the freeway's heading south
my heart is going Boom!
there's a strange taste in my mouth
baby babe - I'm moving real fast
so try to hold on
try to hold on!

Sleeping in my car - I will undress you
sleeping in my car - I will caress you
staying in the back seat of my car making up

So come out tonight
I'll take you for a ride
this steamy ol' wagon
the radio is getting wild
baby babe - we're moving so fast
I try to hang on
try to hang on!

Sleeping in my car - I will undress you
sleeping in my car - I will caress you
staying in the back seat of my car making love - oh yea!

Sleeping in my car - I will possess you
sleeping in my car - certainly bless you
laying in the back seat of my car making up

The night is so pretty and so young
the night is so pretty and so young
so very young...

Sleeping in my car - I will undress you
sleeping in my car - I will caress you
staying in the back seat of my car making love to you

Sleeping in my car - I will possess you
sleeping in my car - certainly bless you
laying in the back seat of my car making up

I will undress you
I will undress you

The night is so pretty and so young” (© Gessle - Jimmy Fun Music)


The attractive young man dips his head after the final choral verse and staring off into the distance simply says “Oh Paulo!” before locking the car and walking into the little house he’s parked right next to.

Cut to a scene of the inside of a small apartment. There’s a main room with some shoddy couches and a little open-plan kitchen. There are two couches, one blue and one red, with bright cushions and aopen-plan kitchen opening onto the venue. Sitting on the red couch is a beautiful young woman with long blonde hair, parted in the centre. She’s smoking with trembling fingers and she wears a chain from her belt that has a cigarette lighter attached to the end of it.

Girl: “Kirblestien! You’re home! How did it go?”
Boy: “Oh Becclestien… you know how he is! I’m so confused, I just love him so, but I never know where I stand!”
Girl: “Oh buddy! I know, I know. Love sucks man! You know what’ll really cheer us up though?”
Boy: “I hope I’m thinkning what you’re thinking…”
Girl “I bet you are…”
Both “One of our fabulous candle-lit dinner parties!!!”
Girl: “I’ll call everyone!”
Boy: “Yay! I’ll start cooking! [Pause] Hey Beccle, what about a guest of interest?”
Girl: “Hmmm. Good idea. There are so many people in this town on the verge of coming out who are clearly so in love with both of us… who will we invite?”
Boy “Hey, I have an idea… what about that Alicia? She’s been telling Paulina how keen she is to arty with the crew and the babe seems like she could totally get jiggy after a few brandy and cokes!”
Girl: “Great idea!”

Both suddenly burst into scene of amazingly sexy interpretive dance while singing dressed for success…

Now I’m going to have to pull in the reigns here, because I f I publish the entire script on my blog, chances are it’ll be snapped up and someone will make a lot of money off of it. Needless to say, I intend to title the work with the name of a Roxette song (as seems to be customary in the genre) hence the script you’ve seen will be the beginning of “The Big L”. Many of you will know the rest of this tale, but I feel the score will read a little like this:
“Secrets that she keeps” - Alica arrives at dinner party and makes a grand confession
“Crush on You” – more of Alicia’s confessions
“Goodbye to You” – Beccle to Alicia
“Sleeping Single” – Beccle arriving home drunk
“Coming Back (Before you Leave)” – Alicia rapping on the door to Beccle and Kirble’s house
“The Big L” – Beccle and Kirble’s midnight musical hit to find Alicia knocking on their door
“Dangerous” – Beccle to Kirble once Alicia has passed out in Beccle’s bed
“It must have been love” – Beccle, Kirble, Paulina and Toe-rag try to understand Alicia’s behaviour…

and so it goes…

Watch out for this one folks, it could be huge!

Yo Missy Straight Best Friend!!!

Preface:
Let it be known from the outset that, despite the format of this particular rant, I am not a Ben Trovato fan. I find him to be quite dull for the most part and his rants, annoying because they often seem motivated more by some will to be objectionable rather than from a deeply rooted personal angst. My rant however is about something I feel quite deeply about.

I’d like to stand up as a gay man and confront a certain strain of heterosexual woman. Now society seems to deem it that the individual who will most quickly stereotype and judge a gay man will be a heterosexual man. In South African culture this man will be a staunch traditionalist of some variety and denounce you based on some arbitrary fact such as the notion that a man’s value is directly proportional to his ability to sire children or simply because moffies is nie kieff nie! Now while this sort of judgement exists it is actually seldom felt by given gay man in South African society, and if such opinion is ever voiced, it is generally met with an automatic outcry.

But this is not the only time that gay men are reduced and placed into a little box by societal notions. Oh no! By far the worst perpetrator of gay stereotyping is the seemingly harmless heterosexual woman. Their abuse is subtle, probably mostly unintentional and generally accepted. These terrors I refer to are the babes who long for a gay best friend, because, you know, he understands…

Well here’s a newsflash sweet-cheeks! I don’t!

Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean that all I want to talk to you about is interiors and how badly every other girl at the party is dressed. I actually have a wide variety of interests and although the likes of cooking and decorating may be among them, my interests and abilities are by no means limited to those fields. I may like sports, engage in a little light auto mechanics or even hunt! Yes, for fun!

It’s also not okay to undress in front of me, just because I don’t want you sexually. That doesn’t mean I want to see

I'm with Stupid

The sultry aural styling of the Petshop Boys have been filling South African radio waves lately with their latest release: “I’m With Stupid”. Apparently the Petshop Boys have been working with a new producer who is being credited with steering them back towards a sound reminiscent of heydays past. Regardless it’s a great song.

As Nicole Fox informed us last Sunday “it’s not his partner he’s singing about”, but indeed about the Bush – Blair relationship.

So being taken by it as I am, I took it upon myself to check out their website. It’s a really awesome site, which you can find here. What I particularly liked was the music video for said track “I’m With Stupid”.

The video stars Matt Lucas and David Williams, the two comedic gems behind the popular BBC series ‘Little Brittan’. Now I’m a big ‘Little Britain’ fan, not the biggest around (no names mentioned: Rebecca and Faith), but a big fan regardless and this video is well worth a look.

Zadie Smith

Wow, my first Post! This is rather exciting!

Having been whisked away in the excitement of finally creating my own blog, I must admit that I am at something of a loss now that it comes to actually posting on something that might be interesting to read!

I will however take this opportunity to share with you all something that is bringing me great joy at the moment. I’m on holiday right now (from college at any rate) and have had a bit of spare time. The time off has afforded me to indulge in a little pleasure that I seem to find little time for when real life is on the go: lying flat on my back for hours reading. I finally got it together to join the Cape Town City Library in the City Hall and took my first loan. Although I’ve already read it, I couldn’t but help myself from plucking ‘White Teeth’ by Zadie Smith off of the shelf.

Smith is a young novelist with three novels to her name at the moment and a number of short stories. I am such a huge Zadie fan and am so enjoying ‘White Teeth’ all over again. The characters and the context that Smith creates are so amazing and colourful. Each book is like a box of quality streets with a million different sorts of chocolates where no two are the same. She’s incredible.

Her most recent title is ‘On Beauty’. I won’t even attempt to summarise the story, but it’s possibly my favourite book ever. The cover art is beautiful and as you read it seems to add so much to the story. At least that’s how I felt and chose to communicate to the publisher in an exceptionally nerdy moment. They seemed to appreciate it though and felt that “Zadie would too”.

I was actually flung into something of a light depression when finishing ‘On Beauty’ earlier this year, not because the novel has a sad ending, but rather because I was ad it had ended. I recall telling Rebecca, who shares my love for Smith, that it seemed as if there was one less thing to live for. She agreed. So here’s hoping it’s not too long until her next novel!