Frottage

An unromantic discomedy

2007-02-12T05:16:00.000-08:00

Sunday evenings are always a tricky time. Exhaustion after the weekend sets in and the impending reality of a Monday morning in the office starts to bear down as a heavy, heavy reality. Standing in the movie rental store last night (Sunday night) my flatmate and I decided that we’d rather opt for something light-hearted and less intelligent to wile our Sunday night away with relative ease. Our selection: “The Break-up” starring Jenifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. A light-hearted romantic comedy, right? Wrong…

If anything, this film is best described as a romantic comedy turned inside-out. It’s an unromantic discomedy!

Now, I’m perfectly ready to admit that my reaction may have more to do with my current emotional state than much else, but that movie, was one of the most harrowing cinematic experiences I have ever endured.

I have to give it full credit. It moved me, and Jenifer Aniston was amazing.

Without giving away the plot, the movie kicks off with a couple who clearly have a few little problems. They fight; it’s actually kind of funny. They start to play the kinds of silly games people play in those situations, and it’s still funny. Then there comes a point where the constant fighting starts to really break you down. It gets quite serious and really exhausting to witness.

At the end of the movie you’re just left with this overwhelming notion that all human relationships, particularly romantic ones, will always disappoint you. That ultimately, these ideas and dreams we have about these loves we will find, and have, are just that: ideas and dreams. It’s so depressing.

Their relationship ends (that’s no major plot reveal: the movie is titled “the breakup”) and it ends for the right reasons. They love each other but they can’t satisfy each other or lead full lives together, so it ends.

The worst thing is how sad and ephemeral love is. How the shadow of a love can linger with you, but the actual occurrence of love between two people can fade so fast. There’s a scene at the end where the two of them run into each other on the street after some time has passed. They agree that it’s been so long since they’ve seen each other, that they have so much to catch up on, but the truth is they don’t. They actually have nothing to really say to each other at all. It’s horrible, and so depressing. Oy…

Right! A Challenge

2007-02-08T06:34:00.000-08:00

I’ve been challenged by Carly to share five things about myself that very few people know. The challenge has been issued because I haven’t blogged since November, which is true and admittedly, disgusting.

1. I have (had) a huge phobia of public locker rooms, like the ones at the gym. The nudity makes me feel very uncomfortable. I’ve systematically been desensitising myself to be able to cope with it. I’m getting along fine at the moment…

2. Although I am not a twin, I share my birthday (which is soon, hint hint) with my beloved younger sister. That’s right, the present my parents gave me on my second birthday was indeed, a little sister.

3. I’m am actually pretty darn good at ‘boy things’. I can build stuff, fix cars and electrics, change tyres, drive tractors and motorbikes, even climb trees and build fires… things like that.

4. I used to be a c cup (at least). That’s right, I know the plight of the fat man! In my younger days, there was a point when I would have been classified as morbidly obese. Thanks to weigh-less I lost over 30kg in the space of about a year and have (mostly) managed to keep it off since then. I still LOVE me some cake.

5. I am deathly allergic to Peaches and anything related to peaches including apricots and nectarines. I swell up. If I get too close to them the effect is an instant Glodie Hawn look circa the first few scenes in “The First Wives Club” where her plastic surgeon overdoes the collagen in her lips. Of course the big threat is that my throat will swell and I will die…

There you go! Five things about me that few people know!

Two of my Idols

2006-11-04T07:16:00.000-08:00

I saw Billy Joel! It was amazing! On Wednesday night this week my family all came down to Cape Town and the four of us made the trek beyond the proverbial “boerewors curtain” to the Bellville Velodrome where Billy Performed.

Billy Joel formed a large part of the soundtrack to my childhood. My mom has always been a big fan and her enthusiasm for his music definitely found it’s way down to me. Seeing Billy live has always been a big ambition of mine. When I moved to New York for a year I found myself living on Long Island, which is where Billy Joel grew up. Loved by Long Islanders and heralded as a working-class hero, I thought my chances of seeing him live were looking pretty good.

Until September 11th that is. A few months after my arrival, and before I’d had an opportunity to hunt down a Billy concert the 911 attacks happened. In the aftermath a number of artists, especially those who originated from New York, did benefit concerts to raise money for the victims of the attacks. Billy took to the stage with Elton John and whisperings abounded about how shocking Billy looked. A few days later the news landed that Billy Joel had booked himself into Rehab for alcoholism. As a result, he took a bit of a break and there were just no live shows to go to.

Until that he decided to come to Cape Town that is! The concert was amazing! It was so great to be there with my mom and the two of us danced and sang along to every single song. Billy didn’t disappoint either, entertaining the crowd with jokes between numbers and giving his all to his performance. He looked great and at the age of 50-something he kept it going through a long set. The sound was great, the crowd was wild and the lighting was spectacular. It wasn’t a cheap concert, but it was worth every cent.

He played all the greats, “Honesty”, “River of Dreams”, “We Didn’t Start the Fire”, “The Entertainer” and “New York State of Mind” to name just a few. The latter being the veritable theme track to my life. His grand finale was his famous track “Piano Man” which was so incredible! Live piano music has been having a huge emotional effect on me lately, but hearing Billy play that famous riff while the whole crowd sang the chorus was something I won’t forget anytime soon. My only regret is that Carlz and Bec couldn’t have been there two, because I know how much they both also enjoy his music.

Then, in a fortunate twist of fate, I found myself at another concert last night (Friday night.) Thanks to some kind dealing on the part of Mike’s friend Ryan, Amanda and I secured over selves a couple of tickets to “Unite of the Stars 2006”. The setup and crowd was a little different to Billy but we had a really great time as we drank our bodyweights in sickly sweet alco-pops. There was an unusual but really great line-up of acts including BananaRama (“I’m your Venus, I’m your Fire”), Patrizo Buanne (shittin’ sexy Italian dude who sings like a freakin’ canary), Shane Ward (“No Promises”) and Marcos Hernandez. But the headliner, the one we were really there to see, was Will Young.

Willy, like Billy, was wonderful. His show was incredible and like Billy he didn’t disappoint. The show was great and he came across as a really nice person. There were bits of chatter and absolutely no pretensions. He’s a little more camp than I anticipated, which isn’t so say that he’s very camp, and devilishly good looking.
All in all, several great performers, two amazing concert experiences. Eat your heart out Rihanna!

Such Great Heights

2006-10-19T23:55:00.000-07:00

I just can't get enough of this song at the moment. I think the lyrics are so beautiful.

Such Great Heights
-The Postal Service
I am thinking it's a sign
that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images
and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned
And I have to speculate
that God himself did make
us into corresponding shapes
like puzzle pieces from the clay

It's true, it may seem like a stretch
but its thoughts like this that catch
my troubled head when you're away
when I am missing you to death
when you are out there on the road
for several weeks of shows
and when you scan the radio
I hope this song will guide you home

they will see us waving from such great heights,
"come down now", they'll say
but everything looks perfect from far away,
"come down now", but we'll stay...

I tried my best to leave
this all on your machine
but the persistent beat it sounded thin
upon listening
and that frankly will not fly
you will hear the shrillest highs
and lowest lows with the windows down
when this is guiding you home

they will see us waving from such great
heights,
"come down now", they'll say
but everything looks perfect from far away
"come down now", but we'll stay..

A band called Iron and Wine did a slow remake of it for the Garden State soundtrack with is also amazing. You can listen The Postal Service version here.

The story of the butterflies in your tummy!

2006-10-17T12:53:00.000-07:00

Love, love, loved this movie! An absolute must see! The inspirinig story of a guy just trying to make his dream come true, but also a really beautiful glimpse into the amazing friendships he has. The whole movie was shot, researched, edited and produced by his friends all trying to help him, a self-described nice Jewish boy, who's trying to get a date with Drew Barrymore.
They're all really endearing characters, least of all Drew herself. A definate feel-good, there where moments where I was biting my fist, my excitement was so great. Anyone who's ever known that nervous excitement when you get a positive response from someone you really like will love this film. It's the story of the butterflies in your tummy!

No Rocawear skirt?

2006-10-17T06:15:00.000-07:00

As promised, a post on the Jay Zee and Rhinana concert, albeit some while after the actual event. I’ve wanted to post on this because it was just such an incredibly interesting experience.

Paula and Carly (a.k.a. Pimp and Schnitz) called me to say that they’d be coming down for the concert from Grahamstown and to ask if I’d like to come along. I had absolutely no idea what either artist actually sang, but I knew the names, and figured it’d be fun just to hang with my gal pals if nothing else. So off I went to book a ticket.

Like a real nerd I set about doing some research before the actual concert. I managed to pinpoint a few familiar songs that each artist sings, discovered that Jay Z has a fashion label called Rocawear and that Rhinana was born in 1988 in Barbados. All very interesting, so off I go to the concert armed with my knowledge, my lingo (for shizzle my nizzle) and my friends.

What I found astounded me. The crowd was an interesting mix, quite young and fairly representative in terms of racial mix. Heineken is sponsoring the tour and the branding was by no means subversive. This is interesting because as up-and-coming marketers we’re constantly told to speak to the youth using clever and non-obvious tactics. This was not the case at this particular concert. Everything down to the predominantly green lighting on stage smacked of Heineken, which was of course the only beer available. Smirnoff Spin (another RGBC label) was available but was served in Heineken cups. The artists themselves also had no skaam in terms of self-promotion. Rhinana walked on stage to lip-sync her songs looking as if she’d forgotten to put her skirt on. Interestingly she didn’t seem to notice her little blunder despite the fact that she kept looking at her rump every thirteen seconds and she shook the shit out of it while precariously balancing in her thirteen-inch stilettos. She then unabashedly told everyone to go out and buy her new album. Very subversive.

Jay-Z on the other hand was incredible. The man commanded that stage like few performers can. So much so in fact that the crowd took to literally praising him with a hand gesture of flat palms with the thumbs and forefingers of each handing touching. The gesture was eerily reminiscent of a religious gesture, but everyone was doing it…

Again though the overt commercialism was astounding. I couldn’t really make out many of his lyrics but references to the R – O – C were abounding and peppered the lyrics of almost every number. I wonder if there’s a link to Rocawear there somewhere? He really drove his message home though when he came out on stage at the end of the night to do a few shout-outs to the audience before shacking up with girlfriend Beyoncé at the Cape Grace. The shout-outs went a little like this:
“I see you over there with the limited edition Rocawear jacket. Very cool. And you there in the Rocawear Velour Full Zip. You’re pimpin’ tonight. And my honey over there in the Rocawear Studded Roc Vest. Mmmmm!” I think you get the picture.

The narrative behind the whole thing was also very interesting. Talk of the hood, the struggle and all those lost along the way. The whole experience gave me the feeling that my favourite academic bell hooks might have been onto something when she wrote about the replacement of a racial divide with a class one when blackness is marketed back to the impoverished black masses by the minority that manage to break away. Don’t even get me started on a feminist perspective on the event, you don’t want to know!

In all, a very enjoyable and interesting experience. Can’t say I’ll rush to put my cash in their coffers again in the near future or ever. But I do feel a little richer for the experience.

First drubken post onn this blog

2006-10-13T17:22:00.000-07:00

Well, i'm skrunk... a very familiar space... hence this'll be brief.
Just wanted to let you all know that i am still alive despite my sporadic blogging. Will be back with a post on the Jay Z concert i attended earliet this week, most fascinating. Watch this space.
Not gonna happen right now though!
Be well (wow - that's a Bammin' statement)
K

MarBs

2006-09-28T13:33:00.000-07:00

This last weekend I lost a friend. Rita, pictured on the right, was one of my oldest friend's mom. Sam (said friend) is the other babe in the picture.
Rita passed on Friday 22nd of September after a long struggle with a heart condition that had her waiting for a transplant.
Gathering with Rita's friends is a true testament to the amazing woman she was. She really touched so many of us.
Seldom do you meet someone who approaches life (and it's many, many challenges) with such inspirational strength, spirit and resolve.
It's a very hard time for us all, especially Sam and her dad, but MarB's warm spirit makes it hard not to beam at the thought of her, despite a heavy spirit.
We shared a love for Annie Lennox and I've always loved that someone a good 30+ years my senior could always make me "feel like I'm seventeen again." But that was our MarBs

29 August 2006

2006-08-29T12:28:00.000-07:00

Today marks my second anniversary as an out gay man. Two years ago I told my mom and then slowly started to let my friends know.

I’ve chosen to use this day as an opportunity to celebrate my friends, who have always been an amazing support to me. As they know I usually write each person a letter, and the letters will come. Things have been a little busy this year, but rest assured they’re on their way. For now though I thought I’d just leave you this note to let you know that I’ve been thinking about you all today. I’ll be in contact soon.

All my love

Kirbs.x

Kakfunny!

2006-08-10T08:40:00.000-07:00

I have found a gem! We all love a little comedy every now and my favourite flavour of humour is most definitely Lesbian. I love a Lesbian comic! They’re just so much better and funnier than regular people!
Recently I stumbled across a real winner. BIVA is a site that ‘s bound to leave you in stitches. Run as online newspaper it’s packed with funnies that are bound to leaving you wetting your cargo pant.
Pictured above is one of their t-shirts available from the BIVA store, but be sure not to miss out on some of the real good stuff like: “The miss-adventures of Daphne Dilde – Auzzie Leza at large” and “K. D. Lange and Keanu Reeves – Separated at birth?”. Also keep an eye on the adverts, some of them are killer. I’m particularly fond of the “DATE-O-RAMA” insert as well.
Enjoy!

Warning: definitely not for sensitive souls who are easily offended.

You've Got Mail, but no Male. Sorry.

2006-08-09T15:01:00.000-07:00

Earlier this year I was briefed on a project my Media24 Digital to come up with a concept for a website that would serve as the South African equivalent of MySpace.com. If you don’t know what that is, you’ve apparently been living under a rock for a while! (At least that’s what they told me when I shrugged at the first mention of the site). It’s a site where people create profiles and make friends. It’s a huge phenomenon. The site, apparently, gets more hits per day than Google and was recently sold to Time Warner for a pretty penny.

As part of our research, yours truly, fearless explorer of all things cyber, set about creating a profile and interacting so as to ‘level with my consumer’. I hooked up with loads of old mates from high school in the States and made a few new buddies too. One of whom I met in the flesh, but nothing ever came of it.

These sorts of sites are however still exceptionally popular. One that seems to have slipped under the MySpace.com radar is of course Gaydar. Often dismissed as a forum for perverts to solicit sex with all the efficiency of new-age technology, the site tends to go without the credit it deserves. It was actually started by two South African chaps, in London I think. Anyway, it’s expanded globally with loads of regular users.

So, again when a good friend and I were moaning about our lack of a wider gay social circle and the calibre of man we found in the local clubs, we decided to take it upon ourselves to explore the online scene. We’ve both created profiles and have had some success in meeting some pretty decent guys.

On paper, it all makes sense. Use the technology to weed out all the people you know you won't like, and then see what you can do with the rest! And sometimes it seems to work. You strike up a little chat; maybe you MSN one evening or even start an email correspondence. But what happens when you actually meet?

More than ever before, these two exercises have made me value actual interpersonal interaction. It seems you can email someone online and when you meet in person there’s just no chemistry (even when the intentions are purely platonic). It’s interesting how big a deal that personal contact is, despite the fact that so much of the communication that we do isn’t face-to-face.

Dashed are the hopes of the fairytale ending Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan found in “You’ve got mail”. As ‘Joe’ Says in the movie: “I must warn you that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows. Do you think we should meet?” Who knows...

What did we do before them?

2006-07-26T07:55:00.000-07:00

There is absolutely no doubt that cellphones have changed our lives. I like to think that I hate mine: it’s a gross invasion of my privacy and in many regards a constant worry. Where is it? Have I got enough airtime? Is it charged?

Often I turn it onto silent and ignore it just for a little peace, but I must admit that I almost never leave home without it. As much as I want to detest it, it is an amazing comfort to know that if I’m ever in any trouble (particularly regarding driving) help is but a call away.

The interesting thing though is that these devises are becoming much more than just communication tools. I use mine as an alarm clock, a birthday calendar, a calculator, a camera (although an actual camera would take better pictures) and often as a torch. My old phone worked as a radio too, but I must admit that I seldom used that function.

Now cellphones are also becoming televisions. Perhaps soon they’ll replace so many things we carry with us, like keys, cash, credit cards and even identity documents… The question was posed at college today though: How can a brand capitalise on this amazing technology to offer something that is really awesome and, perhaps even entertaining, without being horribly annoying? It seems obvious that there should be so much that one can do, but it gets tricky. People don’t want spam on their cellphones…

Summertime

2006-07-21T02:20:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning and felt really positive. I’ve found in the last few years that my life tends to work in weird cycles. The beginning half of a year is always a bit slow and then things tend to digress until winter. This time of year tends to be something of a low point for me. Then without warning as the weather improves after July, so to do things generally.

I’ve been told before that this can be linked to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), and I have to admit that research I’ve done on the topic definitely points in that direction. I can’t help but feel, however, that it’s not just the way that I perceive things that’s different in the beginning of the year. It seems that crappy things just tend to happen then. Perhaps it’s linked to my zodiac…

Regardless, winter solstice was a month ago today so we should be on a steady climb to summer. Yay! Even though it’s a lousy day in Cape Town weather-wise, I feel summer days are just around the corner.

Too Mutz!

2006-07-18T14:20:00.000-07:00

The 2005 Idols competition became a religion amongst a certain Grahamstown set, with regular Sunday night gathering at number 3 Worcester Mews where we ritualistically gathered to watch the performances. Esteemed music critics we really weren’t. I’m often quoted as saying that I’m so tone deaf, it’s a wonder I’m not colour blind too. Regardless, we each had a favourite.

As the weeks rolled on and the tensions mounted we watched as the number of contestants slowly diminished until (not without controversy) Karin Kortje emerged as the winner. (There are those who’ll rebuke me for use of the term idol, so I’ll stick to winner.) Kortje, mother of one, hailed from the sleepy town of Grabouw, near Cape Town, where she worked on an Apple farm. On the weekends she sang with her Band, Karin and the Elgineers. Capetonians grew to love their champ in the weeks following the competition and Karin has been making appearances to jiving audiences ever since.

During the competition Karin sang a little number where the chorus went “never too much, never too much, never too much…” Given her characteristically Capetonian accent the chorus rand out over the televisions speakers as “never too mutz, never too mutz, never too mutz…” only to be met by squeal of excited laughter from said gathered crew of Idols fans in Grahamstown. It seems that recently, however, the fairytale story of apple-packer come songstress had taken a turn for the worst. A dire situation that can only really be described as “too mutz”.

Kortjie’s boyfriend, Cheslyn Williams, has been arrested for the murder of four-star Durbanville guesthouse owner Renate Kellerman. Apparently Williams, Kortjie and her manager were staying at said guesthouse when after returning from a day out Karin discovered Kellerman’s dead body. Kellerman’s cellphone and other items were later found in the possession of Williams leading to his arrest. Williams case has been postponed so that more evidence can be gathered and his next court appearance is scheduled for July 24th. Until then he will remain in the Goodwood prison.

Kortjie has apparently been undergoing counselling to cope with the trauma. Too mutz…

An idea

2006-07-16T09:08:00.000-07:00

Currently gracing stages in theatre districts around the world are two shows based on similar principles. ‘Mamma Mia’ and ‘We Will Rock You’ are two musical stage productions telling two different stories constructed around songs made famous by ABBA and Queen respectively.
I must admit that I am yet to watch either show, despite positive reports and the fact that both are currently being staged right here in Cape Town. They do however rank highly on my list of ‘things to do’.
The reason however that I’m blogging about this particular form of theatre is because I have an idea. I feel it’s a very good idea; one of those ideas that is such a natural extension of reality that is sometimes seems hard to even claim it as an idea that exists as an entity unto itself. The idea: a similar musical production based on the music of the eighties Swedish pop legends Marie Fredriksson and Per Gessle, more affectionately known to us as Roxette.
Can you imagine how great it’d be! The story would naturally have to be about young love and heartbreak, the fashions strictly 80’s and the choreography largely interpretive…

Picture it:
The curtain rises; two right spotlights shine onto the crowd off of the dark stage… The music slowly builds volume as the intense spots dim and the backlights brighten creating the effect of a car driving closer towards us. The car ‘stops’, but the music keeps playing as a stunningly attractive young man steps out of the drivers door. He’s just less than six feet tall, medium build, blue eyes, slightly curly hair short. The resemblance to Jude Law is uncanny, but you all recognise him as (self clamed) Mr Rhodes 2005. He gets out and starts singing a narrative…

“I'll tell you what I've done
I'll tell you what I do
been driving all nite
just to get close to you
baby babe - I'm moving so fast
you'd better come on

The moon is alright
the freeway's heading south
my heart is going Boom!
there's a strange taste in my mouth
baby babe - I'm moving real fast
so try to hold on
try to hold on!

Sleeping in my car - I will undress you
sleeping in my car - I will caress you
staying in the back seat of my car making up

So come out tonight
I'll take you for a ride
this steamy ol' wagon
the radio is getting wild
baby babe - we're moving so fast
I try to hang on
try to hang on!

Sleeping in my car - I will undress you
sleeping in my car - I will caress you
staying in the back seat of my car making love - oh yea!

Sleeping in my car - I will possess you
sleeping in my car - certainly bless you
laying in the back seat of my car making up

The night is so pretty and so young
the night is so pretty and so young
so very young...

Sleeping in my car - I will undress you
sleeping in my car - I will caress you
staying in the back seat of my car making love to you

Sleeping in my car - I will possess you
sleeping in my car - certainly bless you
laying in the back seat of my car making up

I will undress you
I will undress you

The night is so pretty and so young” (© Gessle - Jimmy Fun Music)

The attractive young man dips his head after the final choral verse and staring off into the distance simply says “Oh Paulo!” before locking the car and walking into the little house he’s parked right next to.

Cut to a scene of the inside of a small apartment. There’s a main room with some shoddy couches and a little open-plan kitchen. There are two couches, one blue and one red, with bright cushions and aopen-plan kitchen opening onto the venue. Sitting on the red couch is a beautiful young woman with long blonde hair, parted in the centre. She’s smoking with trembling fingers and she wears a chain from her belt that has a cigarette lighter attached to the end of it.

Girl: “Kirblestien! You’re home! How did it go?”
Boy: “Oh Becclestien… you know how he is! I’m so confused, I just love him so, but I never know where I stand!”
Girl: “Oh buddy! I know, I know. Love sucks man! You know what’ll really cheer us up though?”
Boy: “I hope I’m thinkning what you’re thinking…”
Girl “I bet you are…”
Both “One of our fabulous candle-lit dinner parties!!!”
Girl: “I’ll call everyone!”
Boy: “Yay! I’ll start cooking! [Pause] Hey Beccle, what about a guest of interest?”
Girl: “Hmmm. Good idea. There are so many people in this town on the verge of coming out who are clearly so in love with both of us… who will we invite?”
Boy “Hey, I have an idea… what about that Alicia? She’s been telling Paulina how keen she is to arty with the crew and the babe seems like she could totally get jiggy after a few brandy and cokes!”
Girl: “Great idea!”

Both suddenly burst into scene of amazingly sexy interpretive dance while singing dressed for success…

Now I’m going to have to pull in the reigns here, because I f I publish the entire script on my blog, chances are it’ll be snapped up and someone will make a lot of money off of it. Needless to say, I intend to title the work with the name of a Roxette song (as seems to be customary in the genre) hence the script you’ve seen will be the beginning of “The Big L”. Many of you will know the rest of this tale, but I feel the score will read a little like this:
“Secrets that she keeps” - Alica arrives at dinner party and makes a grand confession
“Crush on You” – more of Alicia’s confessions
“Goodbye to You” – Beccle to Alicia
“Sleeping Single” – Beccle arriving home drunk
“Coming Back (Before you Leave)” – Alicia rapping on the door to Beccle and Kirble’s house
“The Big L” – Beccle and Kirble’s midnight musical hit to find Alicia knocking on their door
“Dangerous” – Beccle to Kirble once Alicia has passed out in Beccle’s bed
“It must have been love” – Beccle, Kirble, Paulina and Toe-rag try to understand Alicia’s behaviour…

and so it goes…

Watch out for this one folks, it could be huge!

Yo Missy Straight Best Friend!!!

2006-07-04T14:24:00.000-07:00

Preface:
Let it be known from the outset that, despite the format of this particular rant, I am not a Ben Trovato fan. I find him to be quite dull for the most part and his rants, annoying because they often seem motivated more by some will to be objectionable rather than from a deeply rooted personal angst. My rant however is about something I feel quite deeply about.

I’d like to stand up as a gay man and confront a certain strain of heterosexual woman. Now society seems to deem it that the individual who will most quickly stereotype and judge a gay man will be a heterosexual man. In South African culture this man will be a staunch traditionalist of some variety and denounce you based on some arbitrary fact such as the notion that a man’s value is directly proportional to his ability to sire children or simply because moffies is nie kieff nie! Now while this sort of judgement exists it is actually seldom felt by given gay man in South African society, and if such opinion is ever voiced, it is generally met with an automatic outcry.

But this is not the only time that gay men are reduced and placed into a little box by societal notions. Oh no! By far the worst perpetrator of gay stereotyping is the seemingly harmless heterosexual woman. Their abuse is subtle, probably mostly unintentional and generally accepted. These terrors I refer to are the babes who long for a gay best friend, because, you know, he understands…

Well here’s a newsflash sweet-cheeks! I don’t!

Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean that all I want to talk to you about is interiors and how badly every other girl at the party is dressed. I actually have a wide variety of interests and although the likes of cooking and decorating may be among them, my interests and abilities are by no means limited to those fields. I may like sports, engage in a little light auto mechanics or even hunt! Yes, for fun!

It’s also not okay to undress in front of me, just because I don’t want you sexually. That doesn’t mean I want to see

I'm with Stupid

2006-07-03T13:38:00.000-07:00

The sultry aural styling of the Petshop Boys have been filling South African radio waves lately with their latest release: “I’m With Stupid”. Apparently the Petshop Boys have been working with a new producer who is being credited with steering them back towards a sound reminiscent of heydays past. Regardless it’s a great song.

As Nicole Fox informed us last Sunday “it’s not his partner he’s singing about”, but indeed about the Bush – Blair relationship.

So being taken by it as I am, I took it upon myself to check out their website. It’s a really awesome site, which you can find here. What I particularly liked was the music video for said track “I’m With Stupid”.

The video stars Matt Lucas and David Williams, the two comedic gems behind the popular BBC series ‘Little Brittan’. Now I’m a big ‘Little Britain’ fan, not the biggest around (no names mentioned: Rebecca and Faith), but a big fan regardless and this video is well worth a look.

Zadie Smith

2006-07-03T13:03:00.000-07:00

Wow, my first Post! This is rather exciting!

Having been whisked away in the excitement of finally creating my own blog, I must admit that I am at something of a loss now that it comes to actually posting on something that might be interesting to read!

I will however take this opportunity to share with you all something that is bringing me great joy at the moment. I’m on holiday right now (from college at any rate) and have had a bit of spare time. The time off has afforded me to indulge in a little pleasure that I seem to find little time for when real life is on the go: lying flat on my back for hours reading. I finally got it together to join the Cape Town City Library in the City Hall and took my first loan. Although I’ve already read it, I couldn’t but help myself from plucking ‘White Teeth’ by Zadie Smith off of the shelf.

Smith is a young novelist with three novels to her name at the moment and a number of short stories. I am such a huge Zadie fan and am so enjoying ‘White Teeth’ all over again. The characters and the context that Smith creates are so amazing and colourful. Each book is like a box of quality streets with a million different sorts of chocolates where no two are the same. She’s incredible.

Her most recent title is ‘On Beauty’. I won’t even attempt to summarise the story, but it’s possibly my favourite book ever. The cover art is beautiful and as you read it seems to add so much to the story. At least that’s how I felt and chose to communicate to the publisher in an exceptionally nerdy moment. They seemed to appreciate it though and felt that “Zadie would too”.

I was actually flung into something of a light depression when finishing ‘On Beauty’ earlier this year, not because the novel has a sad ending, but rather because I was ad it had ended. I recall telling Rebecca, who shares my love for Smith, that it seemed as if there was one less thing to live for. She agreed. So here’s hoping it’s not too long until her next novel!

2006-07-03T04:08:00.000-07:00